So some background on this blog. I have never blogged before. I have barely ever used WordPress. I have no idea at this moment if I’m even typing in the correct place to create a second blog post. This is all brand new for me. I am writing because I have an urge to write — it’s almost like an itch, or an ache. I don’t recall having this type of urgency to write in my adult life so I’m just going with it. And here are today’s updates.
I have allergy-induced asthma. I was diagnosed with this later in life. I believe I discovered it in my early 30s while living in NYC. A wonderful friend of mine, Sarah (who is a nurse,) pointed out one day that she thought she heard me wheezing. I don’t know if I was, but I went to a great allergist and discovered that I am allergic to pretty much every tree and weed that grew in and around New York and that was one of the causes of my asthma (which by the way was pretty mild.) I believe this all happened in 2011.
Now it’s 2020, and over the last 9 years I have lived in Los Angeles, CA, Portland, OR and Woodstock, NY. I had our son in Los Angeles in February of 2014 and we moved to Woodstock in July of 2017. So I have been through many different stages of discovery with my allergies and asthma. I’ve tried different medications and had a few minor attacks. And these “attacks” feel very scary partly because, well, trouble breathing, but also partly because it can be hard to tell how much is asthma attack and how much is panic attack. Either way, a few trips to urgent care over the last 10 years and not fun.
Now, cut to the current COVID-19 fear, paranoia, quarantine, craziness. It’s Day 7 since my family and I have essentially been in quarantine in our home. About 10 days ago, on March 11 when I was still working at my office, I left early because I felt like shit. Chest tightness, lethargic, anxious, etc. I went to the doctor that afternoon just to have him make sure my lungs sounded clear and I wasn’t dying. He confirmed that I was not dying, but it did bring to light that I was likely having asthmatic symptoms as a result of the change of season. I don’t typically have allergies and asthma in the Spring but surprise (!) looks like I do this season.
So, what do I do? I bake. And I walk. No really, I made scones this morning. And later on I will take a nice, long walk with my boys. Also, I started a new medicine this morning called Wixela (a dry powder inhaler used to treat asthma.) Learning to breathe in an especially anxiety-ridden phase for me means a combination of calming hobbies, exercise, fresh air, sunshine and medication. Oh, and also I had my first teletherapy session last week (woohoo!) All the while, thinking everyday of the silver-lining in all of this, the extra time with my boys, our beautiful home and property, the fact that I’m still employed and able to work from home. For the moment, we are healthy and everyday I remind myself to breathe… in and out.
Woodstock Mama 